Uncategorized

Photomama Workshop by SNAP

By on August 6, 2010

Been wanting to do an entry on this, but unfrotunately my nausea is not wearing off…warrghh. Nak go tru the other photos pun tak larat, so im juz gonna put up 1 or 2 photos buat cukup syarat

About 2 weeks back i attended Photomama Workshop by SNAP (Saiful Nang Academy Photography). All the premium members of photomama were given the privilege to attend the workshop for free. Yes you heard me right FREE. I was very close to skip the workshop coz syauQi was not around and leaving 3 behind with the maid was just not possible. Lucky thing my parents just got back for good from their 1 year Jeddah posting, so kids tgh syiok Pah and Tuk Ki is around, and that kept that occupied for the whole day. My sister was around too.I left the workshop early though.

Nway, as some of you might know, Photomama Online dah dibubarkan due to piracy. Yes ade member yg bermurah hati download it on youtube utk tontonan umum and ade gak yg share password beramai2. sorang bayar tapi kongsi password ramai2. Memang murah hati kan.

There were less than 15 of months if im not mistaken, so it was a very casual relax workshop. We were free to ask anything that we were concern of, how to overcome the weaknesses that we’ve been facing.

And after lunch, we had our practical session. The model was Saiful Nang’s newly born daughter, Seri. Here are few photos i took. I really dont know why, this pregnancy makes me agak “allergic” skit with camera, hence i didnt take much photos

Those who wish to attend this workshop, they will be another session on the 4th September, do cek out details at SNAP . You will be taught from basic, so dont worry if u dont know anything. All you need is passion =)

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Parenthood

Children are Rezeki from Allah

By on August 2, 2010

Wuish agak tersentap when i received this comment for my previous blog entry:

“Have you heard of the word PLANNING? Allah gives mind to think kan…” -KT

At first i wanted to be uncynical, giving the benefit of doubt, maybe KT was referring to daily activities planning so i could cope with all 3 kids. but looks like all other commentors understood it as family planning. So i interpreted it correctly in the first place. Family Planning…

Well KT, in the first place i wasnt complaining that having 3 kids menyusahkan my life. i was raising the concern of ensuring they get the fullest attention and love from me and seeking advise from other readers on how do i do that. Every human being has his/her weakness. Hence there are times i loose my patience in raising my kids

Maybe i should give some extra information to KT. My period is irregular coz i have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ever since i first gotten my period. I’ve went to see various gynae (even before getting married) and all confirm i have PCOS. Of coz the doctors raised the issue on difficulty in conceiving and such. Pompuan mane yg tak takut if takleh pregnant, but i tawakal n leave it to Allah. Ive undergone various hormone treatment (i.e pil perancang) for my PCOS.

I didnt conceive immediately after getting married. We waited for 1 1/2 years. Maybe it was part of Allah’s plan since i was still a student; in my final year back then.  Getting my period on irregular basis (average of 4 times a year) i knew it wouldnt be that easy for me to conceive. But Alhamdulillah, I was blessed with triplets after 1 1/2 years waiting.  And again, Allah have better plans, Arwah Alesya left us after 3 days. And to our surprise 4 months later we found out i was pregnant. MasyaAllah.

This time around, it came to us as a bigger surprise. Despite having PCOS and not getting my period for the past months, i found out i was pregnant. For us, it is indeed a sign that Allah have faith in me to handle His lil’ Khalifah. When i went to see the gynae, we couldnt calculate my EDD based on my last period sbb last period was almost 4 months ago. Thus we go to according to the size of fetus.

I have friends getting their period on the dot every months, yet having problem to conceive. I feel very blessed with the rezeki that Allah gives us. Alhamdulillah.

And insyaAllah, by the time our kids all grown up, we havent reach our retirement age, still fit to enjoy life, going around the world. Takde lah dah pencen tapi masih anta amiq anak from skool ;). This is indeed our PLAN. insyaAllah

p/s: to all other commentors, thanks alot for ur kind words of support and encouragement. Thank You

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Parenthood

Parenting

By on July 30, 2010

I wish i can be a calm mother who talks to her children in the softest voice.

I wish to give them the total freedom in growing up as a toddler.

But instead,  i ended up screaming, yelling and cubit-ing my kids.

We just got back from a short family trip ( a separate entry of the trip soon), it was suppose to be a family getaway, time to enjoy the moments together but it ended up with some stressful events. I came home and reflect back on the things that happen, and i felt bad. I was expecting too much from my kids. I was countless on how many thousand times i (n husband) scolded the kids, saying “listen hArith! Listen!!” obviously that poor boy wish to roam around freely, exploring the new place but we kept screaming asking him to follow instruction, it restricted his movement a lot. I felt bad each time i (or husband) had to say this “hArith dah big boy kan, listen lah”

Bila piki balik, kesian die. He just turn 3 and we are already expecting hi m to be the big abang, sume mende nk buat kena marah. Ye lah, kids every now and then nak lah kan do new things, but that ended up getting scolded by us. It feel sad bile piki balik, my friends yg anak sorang (of the same age like my elder 2) getting full attention from both parents. Nak buat ape, ade one of the parents akan follow his/her  “adventure in exploring new things”. But we on the other hand, ended up screaming “mommy said must behave kan? Sit down  properly”

Seriously it is sad to have such situation. I feel unfair. Other kids are growing up according to their age, while im expecting my 2 and 3 years old kids to be following every single instruction. That’s a bit too much aight. Other kids getting full attention a ratio of 2 adults: 1 child while we on the other hand trying to divide our love and attention of a ratio 2 adult: 3 children.  And soon we will be having ratio of 2 adult:4 children InsyaAllah. Yes mmg ade je other family with 4 kids, but im talking about having 4 kids under the age of 4 years.  While other 2 and 3 years old are still the one and only “baby” in the house, my kids are force to be big boys / big gal.

Well, as much as i feel bad about it. But i can’t help it. How do i bring all 3 to eat outside without screaming at them to sit down properly when one starts running? And obviously others will follow suit.

Seriously, i want to be a loving mother, a mother whom my children will love and respect. And a gentle mother who treats their children with respects too. I want to be mother who raises them in such a nurturing environment that encourages them to be creative and well rounded lil khalifah of Allah instead of depriving them from exploring their surroundings. I hate it when i have to scream at them, calling them back whenever they were about to start exploring the place. Oh Allah, how do i be a mother who needs not force and scream to them whenever instruction is given, how do i discipline them without the need of force, screaming, yelling and worst of all cubit?

It makes me wanna cry whenever i see my kids crying after kena cubit. I would feel deep inside me “gosh what did i just do??” Im not too sure now does “cubit” really works, sbb macam tak makan saman gak. Im afraid they will ended up having hatred in them towards us.

I really feel bad whenever they need me, but im short of hands (and patients) and ended up ‘leaving them to cry’. I really feel bad that im asking them to grow up and act like big kids while they are only 2 years n 3 years old kids. It really makes me feel bad when i have to leave uZAir crying on the floor when what he wants is to be cuddled and clings to his mom. Thats what a 2 year old boy usually does aight? But im on the other hand will be mumbling away “ish jgn ngada2 lah uZair, mommy tak larat”. athirAh is my lil adventurer who loves to climb. But everytime die climb meja, kusi, almari, cabinet she’ll ended up kena marah. Been wanting to bring her to the putrajaya wall climbing but have yet made a trip there.

I really have to find a new methodology is raising 3 toddlers, a new kind gentle way that no screaming and yelling is needed BUT instruction understood. Is this ever possible? Please share with me! Hmm maybe i have to start bukak balik my phsychology books. But then again most theory tu cam very old skool, don’t think it can be applied to my kids now. Theory and practical is never the same aight.

Every nite, when i watch them asleep, i will pause and reflect; things we did. And i feel regret for not being the mother they deserve. And i think syauQi is also losing his patients with the kids. At times i actually feel relieved that he goes to work for couple of days coz that would be a break for him from the kids and hoping that he comes back feeling rejuvenated to handle the kids.

Maybe i should bring them to the small stream petang ni as hArith has been asking for that the past few weeks. But i didn’t bring him cause nausea hit me pretty bad. Oh btw, my boy pelat “r” die sebut “l” instead. So instead of saying river he says “mommy jom pegi liver” hihi

Well, Sorry kids for spoiling ur holiday

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My Lil Caliphs Activties

My kids | Malaysia Children Photography

By on July 28, 2010

Yay, my nausea is getting better. But it has not made its total dissapearance. Im still having problem with eating and such. But i notice that i will tend to eat whenever i go majlis orang. Hmm, kena attend more majlis ni, but prob is im not in the mood to socialize n miggle around.

Anyway, since i havent update my blog lately with photos of my kids, decided to put random photos of them today.

athirAh pantang nampak air nowadays. sedar2 u’ll hear noises in the bathroom, she dah bukak all her baju and already in the shower. and most of the time she’ll be busy scrubbing the toilet bowl too. And there will days that someone will be very unlucky coz she ended up using org punye toothbrush! she used the toothbrush for hard to reach corners,so smaller brush easier to reach.so now all toothbrushed need to be placed high above the bathroom cabinet

the minute any of the door opens, she will run out cari air kt luar pulak. if the pool ade air takung cinonet setakat air hujan pun she will jump in. or even if its air they main smlm yg penuh dgn rumput rumpai, she will still jump in

hArith is really into football now. i do feel that he looks like a big boy in the photos below. bday diorang the other day he dpt goal post, so syiok petang2 training bola with the dad. i have yet taken any photos of him during his training session with the dad.

hArith pulak pantang dapat garden hose, he’ll be either busy watering the plants or washing the car. Hmm maybe one day we can open up car wash for charity…hihi

he is very thorough in washing the cars. mmg boleh melambung bil air. satu tayar ntah brapa lama die basuh.

and prob is when he starts washing one car, he’ll go to the next car. ended up nak wash 3 4 kereta. imagine how long that takes. and will ended up screaming crying when we call it a stop.

and this boy, im having problem to get him to brush his teeth. tgk lah gigi die…

and this boy can really eat. well talking about eating habit, alhamdulillah all my kids can really eat. and i need not worry about them getting hungry coz sume dah reti cari food sendiri. athirAh has no problem panjat cabinet amiq biskut. or even panjat cabinet bukak periuk nasi to take rice. if takde lauk pun no prob, she’ll be happy to eat just plain rice. uZair on the other hand, will panjat his high chair as an indication “i want food”. my kids have in between snack quite often, fruits lah, biscuit and such. and the best part im happy with them is that they have no prob eating veggie. they even take spicy food

look at uZAir, sempat lagi nak makan before joining the bro and sister splashing water in the “pool”. the minute he saw bro n sis were outside, he quickly run out with his bowl of cereal (without milk)

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Uncategorized

Homeless being highlitghted in the newspaper

By on July 22, 2010

I know, ive been talking alot about homeless. Despite the terrible nausea, i decided to sit down and write an entry. Quite sometime back i received and email from someone who didnt quite agree about the food distribution. i wanted to reply to her by email personally but somehow my kids with their super fast fingers smash the keyboard and zass, they deleted it. didnt manage to retrieved her email.

im in no position to really respond to the comment coz i dont go out every week. but the few numbers of night i went out was enough to teach me a lesson, not just me but also my lil kids. they no longer play with their food whenever we remind them about the homeless. they take care of their things better now after realising how fortunate they are. That was what a 3 year old boy saw with his own eyes.

Recently, the newspaper highlighted about the homeless, not just the adults but also the homeless kids, they are as young as 10 years old, left roaming in the city of kl to defend themselves. along the way they ended up becoming drug mules for the adults as they needed money.

Thos who didnt get hold of the newspaper, here are a number of link written in the newspaper, i took it from the Star online:

Sadly, when we talk on homeless, ppl have the mind set of those beggars, drug addicts sleeping at the roadside. yes these scenario exists but as what the newspaper also mentioned:

“These homeless in the capital city are not all beggars or vagabonds. In fact, many of them hold jobs during the day.

However, they do not make enough to pay for houses or rooms and find it easier to make ends meet by sleeping on the streets.

There are no accurate figures on the number of homeless people in the city as only a few non-governmental organisations (NGOs) are aware of their existence.

Many do not even look shabby and a few even have cell phones and dress well.”

“DRESSED in a polo T-shirt, long pants and leather shoes, Amran’s appearance can be deceiving. His fluent English also makes it hard to believe that somebody like him can be homeless and living on the streets for the last 30 years.”

In the New Straits Time recently highlighted on homeless kids 

Several hundred teenagers are living in abandoned buildings in Kuala Lumpur. They roam the streets, robbing and prostituting themselves to survive. One couple even made a sex tape for sale. Shockingly, the parents of some of these kids know what they are doing.

THEY are unwanted, neglected and shunned by their parents and society.

These teenagers, aged between 14 and 18 and numbering several hundred, live on the streets, exposing themselves to the underground activities thriving in the hidden parts of this city.”

I cant remember was it NST or Star that i read few days back ( n cant seem to cari it online) those homeless kids are rather bright, one of them left home age 12 after obtaining UPSR 3 A’s 2 B’s while another gal left after PMR who obtained 5a’s 3 b’s. The form 3 gal left coz father was abusive.

I had my very own up close n personal experience with homeless children. I was on an assignment for my undergrad, i managed to contact a lady from an NGO to bring me to the homeless kids. Accompanied with 2 other uni mate, we met the lady at the bridge near The Mall at 11:45pm. As i approached the lady, who was already with few kids, the lady salam me and whispered “y are u wearing tudung? you gonna scare these kids?!!!” and i was speechless, i did inform her i was from uia, couldnt she foresee we will come with tudung? anyway, i came out with a story quickly for the kids. The 3 of us were problematic children, being sent to a special programe by Social Welfare and we were suppose to be at Kem Ibadah but we ran away from the mosque, hence the attire.

The lady ajak the kids and i to lepak at the mamak, the ice breaking session went pretty well. I asked them how do they survive in the city since its been a year we’ve been off the street. So they told us their story. The youngest was 9 years old. Among the stories, dad remarried and stepmom refused to have him around, sexual abuse/ physical abuse parents, poverty, parents pass away and no relative willing to take them in since relatives pun kais pagi makan pagi.

The were dressed nicely, i asked them where do they get their shower? They go to the public toilets but if they have extra funds they will take up those RM50 hotel room to shower and have a good rest. Money? they steal handphone mostly. What was their tactic? they said usually kt mamak, ppl will placed their handphone on the table and busy reading the newspaper, especialy those who read and put up the newspaper, it will block them from seeing their handphone on the table, that’s when they take it. THey would then sell the handphone at various shops. They said, these shops knows we steal it so we dont really get a good ammount for it. But watever amount we get, we will share it. Any “income” of the day will be shared with everyone, for food mainly. If there’s extra money, they’ll buy new baju at chow kit.

If they dont “earn” anything what do they eat? They will walk at the chow kit area, grab one or two fruits quitely frm the vendor. Most stalls vendor will are busy with customers, they dont notice these kids grabbing one or two fruits (i.e apple, mango, oranges) Or they will go to back alley of restaurant to ask for extra food.

Where do they sleep? Under the bridge at The Mall.

While we were busy talking, the lady left us. Of coz we were panic. How could the lady sukehati tinggalkn kitorang. We were running out of topic, good thing one of my friend (my cousin actually) was like a moving jukebox, we talk about music and the kids started singing to all the song we mentioned. My cousin pun ikut layan nyanyi, segala lagu lah, dari rock zaman 90-an pun diorang layan.  It was almost 2am already. We spend another 30mins or so and i came out with the story that we really have to get back to the mosque for the Kem Ibadah before the facilitator/ustazah wakes up for the qiamulail programme. We told them qiamulail starts at 3am so we  have to rush and sneak in the mosque again. Pheww, lucky thing we went back in one piece. We sempat walk with them along the kaki lima kedai2 kat KL, diorang sempat lagi tunjuk men and prositute going to the hotel rooms and all.

Few days later, i went to Jabatan Kebajikan for further research, wah diorang trus deny my story, blum dgr lagi waht i have to say. I just mentioned the word homeless children, and the lady was denying it. She said those sume illegal imigrant, from mynmar, and bangsa2 lain. tu sume sindiket. she said, we do our rounds up quite often and never see locals.She just refused to listen to my story. She said i should come again another day, she will put aside all papers and articles for me. But as day passed by, i kept calling her she refused to answer my call. mcm2 alasan her colleague kasi.

And after the NST highlighted on these children, among the respond gov gave was

“We need to check on this. We need to find out who these children are, whether they are locals or if they are children of those who are not from here,” he said.

Read more: Saving the street kids: Government, NGOs seek total solution to problem http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/Gettingkidsoffthestreets_Govt_NGOsseektotalsolutiontoproblem/Article/#ixzz0uNNZyexM

It is sad to see such kids going through all this. A 17 years old couple even record their sexual activity and sell it to earn money.

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